You know how sometimes you can read something a hundred times and it seems the same, but the hundred and first time something jumps out at you?
        Ever had that?
        It happened to me when I worked with the passage that Gus just read. Verse 17 leaped off the page.

"When they saw Him they worshiped...."
        They acknowledged that He is greater than all and worthy of devotion;
        So receives their worth-ship........ worship.
"They worshiped...........but some doubted."

Have to honestly tell you that I’ve never really focused on those words before.
        "...but some doubted."

These words leave a lot of people uncomfortable.
        I read some folks trying to explain them away saying, "Oh, that means they used to doubt."
        Or - "Some of the others, not the core disciples, some others doubted."
        They are, says Emil Bruner, the same sorts of hesitancies that people experience when reading that John the Baptist doubted (Matthew 11:2-3). We like to believe that the great pillars of faith who went before us were smooth pillars, strong pillars, pillars without any flaws.

As a matter of fact, the pillars of faith were uncomfortably like us.
        With struggles, distractions, hesitancies and wavering.
        Doubt.

In fact - the best translation of this sentence in Matthew 28:17 reads,
        "They worshiped him; though they also doubted."

The word used in the Greek text is one that would, today, give a picture of someone sitting in their car at the side of the road, frowning at a map open before them, not clear at all about which direction they should travel.
        Or someone who is halfway to somewhere, and feels like turning around and going back home.

The disciples doubted.
Perhaps they were exhausted and simply were out of emotional gas.
Perhaps they were still terrified of Jewish political power and what it might do to them.
Perhaps, having spent some time doing what they did before they’d had these 3 years of focussed work with Jesus, they felt like some time off might be a very nice thing.

Wavering..... doubting.
You’ve been there. We all have.

- "Man, you won’t believe the expectations I live with at work every day. Stress, man, stress. And now you’re suggesting I should......"
- "What are you asking me to give up in order to make space in my budget for this?"
- "I think I just want a break. Let someone else do it. I’m out."
- "Is it really as important as all that?"
- "But, see, I’m involved here and there. Besides, they wouldn’t understand, anyway."

Which is, from Matthew, a brutally honest account of what the human condition is like - even when confronted by the ultimate power, the most extreme example of what God can do, there is still hesitancy within people.
        Well............. maybe.........
                .......On the other hand..........

The worship,
        the bowing low before the one that their head said HAD to be the greatest ever to walk the earth;
        oscillating with the uncertainty of how to respond, heart-wise, to that.

What is amazing is that the Bible doesn’t stop at the doubt.
It doesn’t grind things to a halt.
The Gospel of Matthew doesn’t try to explain it away.
        Just because the feeling of hesitancy is there does not mean that the action of obedient response needs to be derailed.

Like marriage - if every marriage in Canada depended on the state of our feelings, I’m afraid that this institution would be in deep trouble. The activity of marital faithfulness would be even lower that the dismal levels now seen.
        It would be a disaster.
        But - as a matter of fact, we do still see people celebrating 25, 40, 50, 60 and more years of marriage. Because, no matter how the heart and emotions go up and down, cycling in and out, the actions of obedient loyalty to each other as covenanted spouses remains.
        Commitment first.
        Actions that result.
        Feelings – the caboose that follows along towards the end.

The co-existence of worship and doubt.
It is into that reality-based co-existence that Jesus injects his non-negotiable command, the Great Commission.
        Doubting worshipers are, you see, Jesus’ raw material in mission;
                material He is perfectly capable of using.

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, theirs is the kingdom of heaven" said Jesus earlier in Matthew 5.
        We could paraphrase that here to read, "Blessed are those who worship the risen Lord and who still struggle with doubt, they are the people He uses to do mission in the world." [so Bruner].

Those of you who remember the Evangelism Explosion program that was taught in many of our churches some years ago may remember the definition of evangelism that Dr. Kennedy gave:
        "Presenting the gospel in the power of the Holy Spirit and leaving the results to God."

It is not our emotion, our power of persuasion, the size of our smile, the glitz of our programming or the cogency of our logic that will swing people into the Kingdom.
        It is the power of the Spirit of the Risen Christ.

Which is why the disciples didn’t go out immediately. Acts 1:4 records Jesus as telling the disciples to head into Jerusalem and stay put till they received the gift of the Holy Spirit.
        The Spirit of the Power of Christ.
        Only the Holy Spirit could overpower the doubt enough to make these timid disciples into effective evangelists.

In Luke 17 Jesus describes to His disciples the sort of raw material that He needs to work with - the sort of raw material that will be shaped in the hands of God to effect great results for the Kingdom.
        The kind, the size, the shape of faith that is needed is faith........
        ........do you remember.......??
                .........as big as a mustard seed.

The Spirit takes that little faith and grows great things with it.

Take your little faith, believer,
        says the gospel of Christ
Take your little wavering faith and get out into the world with the message of life in Jesus Christ.
        New, forgiven empowered life.
        Obedient servant life.
        Expectant, future looking life.
        Directed-by-God Kingdom life.

Which is a radical, and desperately needed message in today’s Ottawa.
You’ve probably heard the phrase that we are now a "Post-Modern" society.
One of the big things of Post-Modern people is that they deny being part of anything bigger than themselves.
        There is no greater good, no ultimate rule, no supreme authority or set of rights and wrongs, and no ultimate direction to history.
        We call that "Meta-narrative."

        Meta is a word that means "with."
        Narrative means "account, story" - not in the sense of "once upon a time, made up" kind of fairy tale; but real, true account of what is actually occurring at some place and time in cosmic history. And even beyond just the events, the narrative includes the values, roles and sets of meaning -- the basic truths that are part of these events.

Meta-narrative -
        the story that we are living with;
        that carries on around us;
        that we are part of;
        and the basic, cosmic laws and truths which hold it all together.

The Christian Gospel Meta-narrative says that I function not just in the context of my needs and whims and wants, but in the context of a great God-directed unfolding in time that is happening around and beyond me.
        I live not just with what makes me happy at the moment, but under the Will and Direction of God, accountable to Him and as an inextricable part of His Body on earth.
        No matter how I want I can’t shake lose of that.

        Post-Modernism says that I live and die for myself, by myself and in myself. My life is detached from everyone else. Just a small blip on the radar screen of time. Poof, and gone. No ultimate meaning. No eternal value.
        What an incredibly small, poor way to think of history, of time,
                of our lives!

Jesus sends us ordinary people, struggling-with-doubt-and-uncertainty sorts of people -
        He sends us out with the richest of messages - the Good News.
        He sends us out with the mandate of welcoming and drawing others into the great Narrative of the Kingdom; the ongoing living covenant history of God’s working in Creation and among His people.
                To draw them in so that they, too, may be part of this unfolding.

We are sent out with this message of truth and life;
To get on with that task, even though there will well be seasons of doubt.
Jesus says, "You are part of the Great Story. You are part of my Community. You are my ambassador. I AM going to use you.........
        Now go!!"

"Go and make disciples of all nations....."
 
 

Literally this phrase reads:
        "In your going, make disciples - baptizing them.... and teaching them to live obediently."
        The "going" referred to is the every day events of life.

        The Great Commission is not a call for us to become something different than what we are; not a call for us to all scurry off to Bible College and Seminary, to drop everything and become clerics.
        In your going..... in the every day routine of where God has presently placed you. Be it a Galilean Fisherman, a Nepean homemaker, a Kanata programmer, an Ottawa policy analyst, or a Barrhaven student.
        In the natural course of your living...... make disciples.
        Live your Christianity openly, welcoming, honestly.
        So that other people ask questions and can, from you, find answers.
                Which is the heart of what disciple means - a student, learner.

That is the call which comes to each of us, and to all of us together.
To be disciples.
        People becoming more like Jesus.
        People submitting their agendas and values to Jesus; living life on His terms.
                Being disciples.
                And making disciples - inviting them, helping them to come along with us as redeemed, holy people in the Metanarrative of the Kingdom of Jesus Christ; joining together in the task of living obediently, stewardly, justly, caringly within the Cosmos and within the human family; living as representatives, workers, for the Great King.

If we don’t do that, we’ve missed the central essence of Christian living.
If we’re content with being the only disciples, we’ve missed the central essence of Christian living.
If we’re not burdened by empty spots around this sanctuary becoming filled with new believers, we’ve missed the central essence of Christian living.
If we’re not praying for opportunities to serve and witness, we’ve missed the central essence of Christian living.
If we’re not structuring and living as a congregation in a way that hungers, thirsts, and works to expand Kingdom influence, we’ve missed the central essence of Christian living.
 

I know, I know -
        There are many moments that we won’t feel like it.
        There will be occasions when we couldn’t care less what the answer to this question would be - "If Calvin CRC were to disappear from the face of the map tomorrow, would anyone in the community around notice? Would the witness and work of the Kingdom suffer at all?"
        There are the seasons when we’ll wonder if, as a church, Calvin CRC could even have anything attractive or rich to offer to the disciple-making project.
        And there will be months in the church year, and evenings when we sit at committee meetings and informal planning sessions, wondering how we’re going to make things function just as they are - let alone looking beyond our present boundaries.

Those things will happen.
The bible calls that doubt.
        Just like the first disciples had.

But then - in those times - let’s get back to Matthew.
Remembering how much time the Lord gave to doubt when it came to setting agendas.
Charting our course as an obedient people of God accordingly.
Knowing that, as we work at it, He - with all heavenly power - is with us
        always
        right to the very end!